SCP-1000: Discord Cum Demon

specimen info
Statue: scp-1000 is a  [redacted] human from cumville city in [redacted] USA. They were first discovered in 20[XX] by a foundation spy lodged in the clout coalition discord / DVC server.

The subject is able to cause discord users in servers they join to post an emoji of a compressed image of a hamster with the text “cum” at least once a day. This SCP is highly infective and can rapidly spread if they enter any large discord server.

Personal are to wear studio grade noise canceling earphones around the subject when restocking their holding cell every 4 days. Personnel that fail to wear proper noise cancelling headphones shall be shot on site to prevent any further cum-tamination. While subject does not require food. They do need a new clear mason jar to hold their favorite possession which is a small plushie of the american comic character Garfield manufactured during the late 1980s. If the previous Garfield plush jar is not replaced by the time it fills the subject enters an aggressive and destructive state, rupturing the prostates of all personnel on site over and over until they receive a new and empty jar. Furthermore once a week a D class needs to enter the holding cell to discuss Garfield fanfiction with the subject, and recommend at least (4) new dreamtone tracks for the subject to listen to sometime. Due to the previous section though, this D class must be shot immediately after leaving the subjects chamber to prevent cum-tamination.

Subject has also been known to what it refers to as "sicko mode" when exposed to big booba vtubers. In this state subject enters a near invincible enlightened state allowing subject to accomplish such feats as: circumvent scalper prices on discogs marketplace and convince fox news viewers that mildly caring about the well being of the poor and homeless doesn't make you an ancap communist college student.

The subject is not allowed to exit its noise proof confinement under any means. If subject does escape, site personnel are to lay down garfield shaped chicken tendies to lure the subject back into noise proof containment.